Molded Crab Meat

The idea of this website was born sitting around my folks kitchen table, drinking wine and going through the piles of old recipes that have been handed down to her over the years. We all agreed the first post should be Grand mommy’s Apple Crisp; but where to go from there was up in the air. The possibilities were endless. Every night I would flip through the pages and try to figure out what to do next – and it just kept bringing me back to this one.

No sane person would read this and think “Yum”! No sane person would even make it!? Why would you? I am apparently, not sane. There’s a lot to unpack here. Why would anyone make this? Why would anyone EAT this? What exactly does lime jello bring to the party? HOW do I update this and make it cool – and you know – edible?

Oddly enough, with the exception of the crab meat, I actually had all of these thing on hand. With the small amount of crab needed – I could justify spending the money and make crab cakes for dinner.

If I’m honest, this recipe couldn’t be easier. It’s a small amount of chopping, but mostly a dump and wait sort of thing.

With Halloween approaching – I would imagine this would make an excellent Halloween Mystery Feel Box. Albeit a fairly expensive one.

I have never had so much fun making something before. Every single ingredient had us laughing and asking “why?!!?!?” What is this supposed to taste like when it’s done?!?!

Death. That’s what it tastes like.

This is, without a doubt, the worst thing I have ever put in my mouth. Ever. Up until I made this, I thought the worst thing that happened in my house was my husband putting mayonnaise on his macaroni and cheese.

My daughter is very concerned about the idea of updating this – if it’s possible. I’ve apparently traumatized both of them for life because of this lime green monstrosity. One of the good things to come of this is that I now have a very strong scare tactic if I want something done. “Clean your room or you’re getting Lime Jello Crab for dinner!”

Here’s the thing that’s going to keep me up at night though:

People actually ATE this. On purpose. Assuming I did it correctly, how in the bloody hell am I going to update this.

I usually like to end these posts with some ideas of what I might try – or little tweaks in the cooking process. I’m speechless. I’ve got nothing.

Here’s a pretty picture of Lime Molded Crab. You are very welcome.